XXX Films

The Avengers XXX: A Porn Parody

avengersxxx

Director Axel Braun brings us this film from Vivid Entertainment. Co-written by Mark Logan, the film opens in the Nevada desert, where Bruce Banner (Corey Matthews) is recovering from an epic battle that he had as The Hulk with The Abomination in the streets of Las Vegas the night before. SHIELD Director Nick Fury (Lexington Steele) decides to assemble a group of superheroes to form a new public team called The Avengers, and their first priority will be tracking down and capturing the Hulk. Meeting together for the first time at their new secrete warehouse HQ, Fury has gathered Hawkeye (Eric Masterson), Scarlet Witch (Danni Cole), Ms. Marvel (Lexi Swallow), Black Widow (Brooklyn Lee) and Spider-Woman (Jenna Presley). The team doesn’t get off to a great start, as Iron Man (Dale Dabone) shows up late to the meeting and immediately gets to an argument with Ms. Marvel, which prompts Scarlet Witch to get fed up and leave. Then Iron Man flies off to go catch The Hulk himself.

Iron Man flies to the desert, where Banner has now transformed into The Hulk (Jordan Lane). When Iron Man tries to apprehend him, the Hulk knocks him clear to California. This makes Nick Fury, whom we see discussing this with his assistant Agent Sharon Carter (Phoenix Marie) even more determined to put The Avengers together and make the team work. Ms. Marvel approaches Scarlet Witch and convinces her to stay. And then we see Thor (Brendon Miller) in Asgard (I think) being approached by She-Hulk (Chyna) who asks him to join the team. All of the heroes regroup back at the warehouse, where Spider-Man crashes the meeting and insists on joining, which Fury agrees to despite some reluctance regarding Spider-Man’s public image. And then Fury sends the team to Arctic Circle, where they discover something frozen in the ice…

The movie ends on that cliffhanger. There is a sequel, but I don’t have it yet. So how does it stack up? Well, it’s mostly a set-up film, introducing us to the characters, and showing them interact with each other. I’ve seen some of Braun’s other superhero films, and one thing I’ve noted is that he throws in little nods to actual comic-book storylines, leading me to assume that he is a comic-book fan himself. The Fantastic Four are mentioned (Hawkeye grumbles about the fact that the FF get to stay in the Baxter Building while the Avengers just get a little warehouse) as well as villains like The Living Laser, The Constricter, and The Skrulls. As for the sex scenes, there are 5 in the full movie.

First up is Eric Masterson and Brooklyn Lee, their characters know each other from previous missions, and they have sex on a bed. I primarily know Masterson from his roles in multiple softcore films, so it’s a little weird to see him doing an actual hardcore sex scene. He keeps his costume on during the scene, just pulling his penis out through his pants, but it’s a good scene, ending with him giving her a facial.

Then Lexington Steele and Phoneix Marie have sex at the warehouse. These are two of my favorite male and female porn performers, and they put on a great performance in what is my favorite sex scene in this film.

Danni Cole and Lexi Swallow have a hot lesbian scene in a gym (that’s how Ms. Marvel convinces Scarlet Witch to stick around).

Then Chyna and Brendon Miller have a scene. This had to be the most shocking scene to me, just because during the late 90’s I was a huge pro-wrestling fan, which is where I know Chyna from. I knew she’d done porn since leaving the wrestling business, but had never seen any of it before, so this was my first time. She’s covered in green body-paint as the She-Hulk, but it’s very recognizably her. The downside is that, for some reason, she keeps her top on during the entire scene (maybe they ran out of body paint?).

And the final scene is Lexi Swallow and Xander Corvus, as Ms. Marvel welcomes Spidey to the team in her own special way (if ya know what I mean). This is also a bit of an odd scene, as Xander keeps his costume on the entire time, also only pulling his penis out through his pants.

This is a 2-disc DVD. The first disc has the full XXX film. The second disc includes a bonus scene. It’s another version of the Thor/She-Hulk scene, except this time it’s Evan Stone playing Thor, and instead of She-Hulk it’s Jenna Presley as Spider-Woman. I’m not sure what the circumstances were behind the filming of this scene. Both mostly keep their costumes on during it, only revealing their genitals, plus Presley reveals one breast.

The 2nd DVD also includes a “non-sex version” of the film, but I didn’t watch that, plus some previews of other Vivid titles, photo gallery, and some behind the scenes footage. I won’t bother with a rating for this film, it is what it is. If superhero porn is your thing, then you should check this out.

AVAILABLE ON ADULT DVD MARKETPLACE

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