SOFTCORE FILMS

Scared Topless

**THIS REVIEW WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS**

This 2015 film was written by David Zani and directed by the one and only Jim Wynorski (under his Harold Blueberry pseudonym). If you’re familiar with Wynosky’s softcore output in the second decade of the 2000’s, then I’m sure you know what to expect here: A short film (about an hour and 15 minutes) with a minimal plot filled with a cast of beautiful busty women and characters who take any opportunity to stop whatever they’re doing and have sex, which is filmed to fast techno-music, with a heavy emphasis on girl/girl action,  and where the actors tend to look directly at the camera when they’re finished.

Michael Swan is Professor Rand, a college professor teaching a class on Advanced Psychokenisis, which is described as the study of E.S.P., spiritualism, and ghostly phenomenon. The name of the college where this class is offered isn’t given here, but I’m guessing it’s not an ivy league school.

Bridgette B., Billy Chappell, Ashley Johnston aka Danica Dillon, and Frankie Cullen play Professor Rand’s students, Candy, Tony, Tabitha, and Mike (yes, they’re all college students, despite the fact that they all look more like they’re old enough to be college professors themselves). Professor Rand has a special class trip prepared for them, they’re going to spend the weekend in the mansion of Gail Evelyn. Gail (played by Jasmine Leo) was a silent film movie star in the 1930s, her lover and frequent co-star was an actor named Peter Sherwood (Sean Juergens). Peter disappeared in a plane crash, and Gail went into deep seclusion, quitting Hollywood, firing all of her staff, and shutting herself away from the world in her mansion. Years later her relatives broke in and found an empty house with just a handwritten note from Gail, which she addressed to Peter saying that she would always wait for him to return and wouldn’t let anyone tarnish the house, which was meant for the two of them. Professor Rand says that in all the decades since, the owners have been unable to sell the house as no one has been able to stay in it for more than two days without running away screaming. Most of the students are scared at the thought of staying there, Tabitha and Mike even consult a psychic beforehand, looking for spiritual protection, but Tony thinks it’s all a hoax.

Also coming along with the class is Samantha Hazel (Jacqui Holland), she’s the great-granddaughter of Dawn Cummings (who Holland also plays), who was Gail Evenlyn’s best friend and also a silent film actress. Gail left the house to Dawn in her Will and Dawn’s family has owned it ever since. She’s there to show them around the house.

Cindy Lucas plays Madame Zoltan, the psychic that Tabitha and Mike went to. She shows up with her friend and fellow psychic Selena (Jamie Michelle Hunter), because she got a sense that Gail’s spirit wants her there.

As for what happens next? Well, like I said, if you’ve seen Wynorski’s films of this era, you know what to expect. The various characters get together in different pairings to have sex. And it’s those sex scenes which we look forward to.

At the beginning of the film we get a sex scene between Jasmine Leo and Sean Juergens, in what is supposed to be a home video of Gail and Peter before he died (despite being filmed in the 1930’s it’s in full color).  We also get a scene between Bridgette B. and Billy Chappell and a threesome with Cindy Lucas, Danica Dillon, and Frankie Cullen.

Once the characters get to the mansion it’s practically non-stop banging.
Bridgette, Danica, and Jacqui have a threesome in a bathtub.
Billy Chappell, Cindy Lucas, and Jamie Michelle Hunter have a threesome in the pool in the backyard.
Jasmine Leo and Bridgette have a sex scene, as Gail’s ghost appears and seduces Candy.
At that point, Gail has possessed Candy, and makes her seduce Mike. So we get a scene where it’s Frankie Cullen having sex with a woman, and the scene keeps switching back and forth between the woman being Jasmine and the woman being Bridgette, I guess to indicate that while Mike thinks he’s just banging Candy she’s really possessed by Gail.
Madame Zoltan holds a seance with the woman, while the guys are looking around the house, and this turns into a 5-way lesbian orgy between Cindy Lucas, Jamie Michelle Hunter, Bridgette B., Danica Dillon, and Jacqui Holland, which takes place on the kitchen floor and involves the ladies soaping each other up.
Jacqui and Billy have a sex scene, with Jacqui playing the ghost of Dawn Cummings.
And the final sex scene is Jasmine Leo and Sean Juergens again, as their spirits are reunited, finally breaking the curse and giving this film a happy ending.

Okay, the story is silly and no one is winning any awards for the acting, by Jim Wynorski knows what his softcore audience wants and he delivers it. The ladies are all gorgeous and the sex scenes are super hot, with the Bridgette B./Billy Chappell scene, the Cindy Lucas/Danica Dillon/Frankie Cullen, the lesbian threesome and five-some being the highlights. So get it, fast forward through to the sex scenes, and you’ll be satisfied.

Chacebook rating: FIVE STARS

Jason Majercik is selling this UNRATED DVD for $24.99. Email him at quinn_nash@hotmail.com for his softcore inventory list

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