Doug Miller writes and Christopher Ware Smetts directs this, the series finale of LINGERIE. Did this creative team turn things around to give us a memorable send-off to this series?

SPOILER ALERT: No.

Now here’s the longer answer:

Just like the finale to the first season, this second season’s finale revolves around a fashion show that Lacey is putting on, which will make or break her career. And the entire episode takes place at the show, starting as everyone is getting ready backstage. We see Jeffrey fixing a dress on Marilyn, as she’s going to be on the runaway again, while Joanne and Stephanie are running around backstage trying to get everyone and everything in place. The attending audience is bigger than anyone anticipated, so it should be good. But then we get so many dumb things happening.

First, Cody and Russ are in a dressing room, checking out their outfits, when Cody asks Russ about the threesome he and Nina were supposed to have. This makes no sense as that threesome was going to happen in episode 11, and then based on some dialog from Cody, episode 12 was a week after that, and at least another week must have passed since that episode, but we’re supposed to believe that Cody hadn’t asked Russ about it until now? They live together! And they talk about their sex lives all the damn time! But when Russ says it didn’t happen, Cody immediately guesses that it’s because Nina wanted to bring in another man, and he starts laughing at Russ and mocking him. But then Nina suddenly comes in.

Gee, what a coincidence that she happened to show up just as Cody and Russ were having this specific conversation.

Anyway, Cody leaves them alone in the room and Nina apologizes to Russ and wants him back, so they have sex. Yeah, I know this type of random sex is a trope of softcore but, come on, they’re literally backstage getting ready for a major show, but Russ is going to stop to have sex right then?

Later in the episode, after they finish having sex, Jeffrey comes in saying that one of the models has twisted her ankle so she can’t go on the runway, so they need another woman to replace her, quick. Instead of asking Joanne who, if you remember, was supposed to be an aspiring model last season, he sees Nina sitting there, and just grabs her and says she’ll be in the show now. Okay, whatever.

Cormac comes in with a copy of the big fashion magazine that Marilyn is writing a monthly column for. Her first article is a cover story about Giovanni’s use of foreign sweatshops, which Cormac was able to get Marilyn enough sources to help her expose. Then we cut to Giovanna alone in her studio reading the magazine, where he secretly informs her that two major clients, one of which is Macy’s have just dropped her as a supplier. She whispers “that bitch” and throws down the magazine.

And that’s it. That’s how Giovanna’s story ends. Very anticlimactic, in my opinion.

We see Cody talk to Nicole in her dressing room, as she’s also going to be working the runway at the show. He’s still not sure if he can trust her, but she apologizes again, and they have sex.

Again, backstage just before a major fashion show?!?

Where’s Lacey you ask? Well, she spends most of the episode watching Jason and Tracy talking, as she looks jealous and sad. At one point she has a brief conversation with Vanessa (who is in the episode but doesn’t have much dialog), about how she thinks Jason looks more interested in Tracy than in the show, and thinks this means he’s thinking about getting back together, although Vanessa insists that Lacey is just being paranoid.

The show finally starts, it’s fine, whatever. We get a bunch of shots of various women in lingerie outfits (and Cody and Russ in briefs). The audience is applauding and seemingly loving it all. After the show is over, Sebastian comes out on stage and introduces Lacey, who then introduces Jeffrey and credits him for designing her ma;e line, and brings Jason up to the stage to credit him for the pictures, but then she abruptly ends her speech and walks off stage, leaving Sebastian to close the show. And an after-show party begins.

Jason goes backstage to follow her, she’s sitting alone in a dressing room, looking depressed. It’s just hard to believe that Lacey is reacting like a jealous teenage high school girl when she’s just pulled off this successful show and has got all that press out there celebrating her. But when Jason comes in he tells her that he told Tracy he forgives her for cheating on him during their marriage, but also made it clear to her that he was completely over her. He then pulls out a huge diamond ring and proposes to Lacey. She says yes and then, of course, they have sex. 

Afterward, they go back out front where everyone is dancing, drinking, and partying. People see the ring and congratulate them on getting engaged. As Vanessa goes up to hug them both, she asks “so does this mean no more threesomes?” Jason and Lacey look at each other and just kinda laugh, as Jason puts one arm around Vanessa, while the other is around Lacey and…THE END

In the final analysis, I have the same feelings I had when I finished the first season. This has to be the softcore series with the biggest untapped potential that I ever watched. It had a good premise and decent characters, but the plotlines meandered too much. It had its good moments, but it was never consistent.

Good characters like Stephanie got pushed aside this season, so we could get new characters like Hugh who had no real purpose. I mean, Hugh could have been important if the show decided to show us more of Vanessa’s experience being on this hit TV cop show, but that was barely utilized. And the character of Tracy was clearly only brought in near the end because they wanted to manufacture some drama in Lacey and Jason’s relationship just so his eventual proposal would seem more surprising.

But that just brings up the wasted opportunity of the Lacey/Jason/Vanessa triangle. This could have been a deep storyline bringing up natural feelings of jealousy, insecurity and regret after the three of them slept together, but none of that happened, so what was the point? Lacey’s fine with sharing Jason with her smokin’ hot roommate whom he used to hook up with, but is worried about him working with his ex-wife who cheated on him?!?

And the biggest waste was the inclusion of Amber Smith and how her character was used. There didn’t appear to be any logical reason why Giovanna was so determined to ruin Lacey, this small-time newbie who could barely run her own company. And she and Lacey barely interacted directly during the season. We never even got a face-to-face showdown after Lacey found out about Giovanna’s treachery. When I saw that Amber was joining this series as a rival for Lacey I was expecting a season full of meetings catfights and double-crosses. Giovanna could have tried to seduce Jason (she could have been his ex-wife, instead of Tracy), or Cody, or maybe even seduce Lacey, in a moment of weakness that Lacey would later regret. I could go on, but while I’m not a professional writer I’m sure I could have written better storylines for this character. And I never warmed up to Marcus Colby or his portrayal of Cody.

Like I said before, the only saving grace of this series is the sex scenes. They always had great sex scenes, kudos to Christopher Warre Smets for directing them so well. They almost always looked semi-realistic (except for a couple of the lesbian scenes), and I loved it when some scenes were shot with no background music, so you could clearly hear all the grunts and moans.

Someone on Reddit asked if I’d rank my favorite sex scenes on the series, but that would take more research than I’d care to do. Let’s just say that Lana Tailor (Vanessa), in particular, was always the highlight of any episode that she had a sex scene in. It’s really a shame that she didn’t do much more acting. According to her IMDB this show was her first role. And after this she only appeared in one little movie, and that was it as far as acting. After this she appeared for a couple of seasons on some little HDNET series called GET OUT, where a bunch of models would travel the world together trying new things like snorkeling, sailing, and such, but that ended in 2012 and I can’t find any updated social media profiles or anything else that would show what she’s up to now. Whatever she’s doing, I hope she’s happy.

And Jennifer Korbin’s (Lacey) scenes were always hot too. But that’s the only thing I could recommend this series for. Get the DVDs and just skip to the sex scenes. It’s not worth trying to watch to invest yourself in the characters. So this entire 2-season series gets an overall Chacebook rating of THREE STARS.

Jason Majercik is selling this UNRATED 4-disc DVD set of Lingerie season 2 for $29.99. Email him at quinn_nash@hotmail.com for his softcore inventory list.