I just read this article on Men’s Fitness, by Cathy Garrad. I figured I’d compare myself to the answers in their sex poll.

1. How often are you doing it?
The average American adult has sex 120 times a year, according to a Trojan condom survey. Despite the one-day-in-three batting average, 63 percent said they wished they were having even more

I’d say I’m a little below average in that regard. Just because I’ve been real busy at work. Do I wish I had it more? Sure, I guess, I also wish I wasn’t so busy, less stressed, had more money…

2. Are you using condoms?
While only 28 percent of men say they use condoms (come on dudes, get with it!), their reports of sexual arousal, ease of erection, overall pleasure, and orgasm were pretty much in line with those who ride bareback, according to Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion.

YES. Everytime. Every. Single. Time. No exceptions. Period. And no woman has ever “accidentally” gotten pregnant. I don’t care if any woman says she’s on birth control and that you don’t need to use one. Guys, unless you’ve had a vasectomy, you simply never ejeculate inside of woman, unless you WANT her to get pregnant. I’m astounded by the number of guys I’ve met who just don’t get that concept. I’ve known so many guys who complain about their Baby Mamas, and when I ask why they didn’t use a condom, I hear things like “I just didn’t think about it.” I don’t get that at all. Yes, I know condoms aren’t 100% effective but, coincidentally, every guy whose complained about a woman that they “accidentally” got pregnant wasn’t wearing one. While I always do, and have never had an “accident.”

And that’s just pregnancy, what about diseases? When you hear some of the stats about STD’s, how 1 in 5, or some other huge number of people, have some form of Herpes, and most don’t even know about it. That’s freaky, man. PROTECT YOURSELF.

3. Do you take it outside?
Fifty-seven percent of Americans have had sex outdoors or in a public place, according to an ABC News poll. While your office meeting room probably isn’t such a brilliant venue, seek out more discrete open-air opportunities. “Take to the woods,” says Fulbright. “The great outdoors is the perfect place to get it on, especially with a blanket.”

Nope, never. No desire to. I don’t get the appeal.

4. Would you pay for sex?
Maybe only this many guys will admit it? According to the Kinsey Institute, 15 percent of men—and three in 10 single men aged 30 and older—have paid for a prostitute.

I never have. But if it were legal, as I believe it should be, I would consider it, under the right circumstances. I see nothing wrong with it.

5. Where do you most want to do it?
The mile-high club is definitely an enviable membership: When Trojan condoms asked men where they’d most like to have sex but haven’t yet, 33 percent said on an airplane.

Not interested doing it on a plane, either. I don’t really have an particular destination in mind. A bed is just fine for me.

6. Are you satisfying your partner?
Better check to make sure you’re both on the same page: About 85% of men think their partner had an orgasm during their last encounter, while only 64% of women said they actually did, according to Indiana University research.

I’m reminded of that old joke, “Why do women fake orgasms? They think we care!”

7. What’s your favorite sexual position?
Despite what you may have heard about the Dirty Sanchez, most guys’ favorite bedroom trick is surprisingly predictable: Twenty seven percent prefer the classic missionary position, followed by doggy style at 24 percent.

Cowgirl/Woman-on-top. Then Missionary. Then Doggystyle. Y’know, I don’t know why Missionary gets a bad rap, considered “boring”. It’s a great position, you get to look each other in the eye, and hold each other. We’re the only species on the planet that can have sex while facing each other, and that’s a good thing!

8. Have you cheated on your partner?
We all shake our heads at the high-profile men who stray (here’s looking at you, Petraeus) but guess what? A whopping 23 percent of guys have cheated on their mate, according to research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. Other interesting findings from that same study: Women cheat almost as much as men (19 percent say they’ve done it), and people with sexual performance anxiety are more likely to step out.

Nope, never have, and don’t believe I ever will. If I’m unhappy with a woman, or just feel the strong desire to be with someone else, I’ll just leave. Be single and date whomever I want. I have no interest in lying and sneaking around. Life’s too short for that.

9. Are you sexting?
Anthony Weiner may have been ahead of his time. When it comes to sexting, only 19% of Americans say they’ve done it. Should you give it a go? “There are many situations when it’s inappropriate,” says Fulbright. “Don’t sext if a person is in a business meeting or driving. You don’t want to get them all fired up at the wrong time!”

I’ve been known to send a dirty text or email now and then.

10. How often do you think about sex?
Fifty four percent of men think about sex every day or several times a day, 43 percent think about it a few times a week or month, and fewer than 4 percent have lovin’ on their mind less often than that, according to research from the University of Chicago.

Every day, but I don’t keep track of each time.

11. Do you do it on the first date?
Twenty-nine percent of Americans say they have, and almost as many have had an unexpected sexual encounter with someone new, according to ABC News. If you’re game to move fast, “make sure the expiration date is good on the condoms, they’ve been stored properly, and you’ve got lube handy,” says Fulbright.

I never have, I’m a little too cautious for that. Want to make sure I’m not hooking up with a crazy woman.

12. What’s your number?
Average are high, of course, since the Wilt Chamberlins of the world throw off the curve. But believe it or not, most guys aren’t the studs they like to let on that they are. According to CDC data, the median number of sex partners for men ages 25-44 is six. That’s it. And only 28 percent of dudes have slept with 15 or more women.

Seventeen.

13. Do you always have an orgasm?
According to Sex in America: A Definitive Survey, three-quarters of sexually active men say they orgasm every time, but it’s normal if you don’t. “The reasons can be physiological, psychological, emotional, or relational,” says Fulbright. “Some are worrisome, and others aren’t. Being tired and stressed is a temporary issue, whereas you should talk to your doctor if you suspect health problems are the root cause.”

Yes.

14. How does your penis measure up?
The average length for a U.S. male is 5.1 inches, which ranks us 18th worldwide, according to the Journal Personality and Individual Differences. (The Republic of Congo tops the list at 7.1 inches, while North and South Korea anchor the bottom at 3.8.)

Let’s just say that I am above average for U.S. males.

15. Does married sex suck?
Putting a ring on it actually ups your chances of a satisfying sex life: Eighty two percent of married guys say they’re happy with theirs, compared to only 71 percent of singles. “Married guys know their partners better, so they know how to turn them on,” says Fulbright.

Never been married.

16. Are you into porn?
A quarter of guys say they’ve visited a porn site on the web in the last thirty days, according to the journal Sexuality and Culture. Far more shocking—and inconsistent? More than half of all of the spending on the Internet is estimated to be related to sex.

Yes I am into porn.

17. How often do you masturbate?
Adjusting the antenna, charming your snake, fiddling the flesh flute—whatever you want to call it—guys say they masturbate an average of 12 times per month, according to British research.

A couple times a week, when I first wake up in the morning.

18. Do you wish you lasted longer?
You better betcha other guys are with you: There are more than 450,000 Google searches every month for premature ejaculation, and about one in three guys in the U.S. is dealing with the issue, says research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

I have not had that problem, yet (fingers crossed).

19. Does your partner like your penis?
Much male brainpower has been spent worrying about the length, the size, and how many times you can make it rise. Here’s the reality: Eighty-five percent of women are satisfied with their partner’s penis size, even though only 55 percent of guys like the size of their package, according to the British Journal of Urology. BTW: About 90% of women prefer a wide penis to a long one

I’ve never asked.

20. Is your city sexy?
Maybe it’s the palm trees and coastal breeze? Trojan says Los Angelinos report having sex 135 times a year, which is the most frequent bedroom romping of any major U.S. city. Ben Franklin may have been a lot of things, but an aphrodisiac ain’t one of ‘em: Philadelphia bottoms the list with only 99 annual interludes.

I guess I need to move back to L.A.