From 2011, this film was written and directed by Fred Olen Ray (as Nicholas Juan Medina) and doesn’t feature anyone in bikinis. It also doesn’t have anywhere near as much time traveling in as you would excpect. A college professor named Wells (played by Michael Gaglio) has invented a time machine. He puts some helmet-like device on a person’s head and can send them into the past (but not yet the future) and he can watch them in past via a little device with a video monitor. One side effect of the machine is that the person who uses it becomes sexually aroused when they arrive in the past (of course). We see him testing the machine in the opening scene, as he sends Kandi, one of his students (played by Jenna Presley) back to the 17th century where she encounters a princess (played by Sarah Vandella) and they have sex. When the University Dean (played by Sal V. Miers) finds out about this, instead of being AMAZED at the discovery of freakin’ time travel, he fires Professor Wells for his unauthorized use of a student in his experiments.

Joslyn James (yes, THAT Joslyn James) plays a woman named Lara who owns a local café. She finds out that a businessman named J.B. Watergate (Ted Newsom) is planning to build a strip club on the land where her café is, and the only way she can stop him is by paying the $15,000 mortgage that she owes, but she doesn’t have the money. J.B. sends his son Teddy (T.J. Cummings) to spy on Lara, to make sure she doesn’t raise the money needed. First we get a scene of Teddy having sex with a woman played by Tasha Reigns. Then Teddy ends up tricking Lara into thinking he can help her, and they have sex on the counter in her kitchen. Kylee Nash plays Sara, Lara’s roommate who also works as a waitress at the café. We get a long scene of her taking a bath, and then afterward her boyfriend (played by Billy Chappell aka Tony Marino) comes over and they have sex. When she goes to work, Sara meets Prof. Wells, who is eating in the café. He tells her about his time machine and offers her money to let him try it on her, which she agrees to do. He sends her back to 1969, where she meets a hippie (played by Nick Manning) and they have sex. After telling Lara about it, they get the idea to go back in time one day, buy a lottery ticket and play the winning numbers, then come back to the present and use the ticket to claim the $1 million prize, and save the café. Prof. Wells agrees to send them both back to the previous day, and they’re both so horny that they have sex first, before going to buy the ticket. Back in the present, Lara pays off the mortgage, and her café is saved. They also get some revenge on Teddy by using the time machine to send him back into prehistoric times, where he has to run from a dinosaur. THE END

Definitely not what I expected when I bought this. Based on the title, I figured it would have scenes of bikini-clad girls traveling through time and having sex with historical figures. Still, Kylee Nash is incredible, as is Joslyn James, so I enjoyed the scenes we got with them in it. Enough to still give this film THREE AND A HALF STARS


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