TELEVISION

Gigolos: Season 6 (Premier)

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I’ve written about this show before, and tonight the “cowboys” are back in town!

A lot has changed since season 1, although for some reason none of the following seasons have been released on DVD (although I just found out that they are on iTunes). Not the least of which is that some other member of the agency once dated (and dumped) some chick from Glee. Jimmy left the show after the second season, quitting the business altogether after some run-ins with the law, and then Steven left after season 3 to go do…something. They’ve been replaced by Ash Armand and Bradley Lords. From the previews it looks like they’re returning alongside original cast members Brace Land, Nick Hawk, and my favorite Vin Armani. As I type this, this premier episode of Season 6 is about to come on. When it’s over, I’ll come back and write up a recap and review.

Okay, here we go (spoilers?):

We open with all the guys, and agency owner Garren James, out in the middle of the desert for a photoshoot to promote the agency (and themselves). There’s some talk of their competitive natures, as each guy want to take the hottest pictures, and have the best physique. And then we follow Ash, as he goes to a hotel to meet his client. Enter “Samantha”, whose occupation is apparently “Divorcee”. She’s from a strict Born Again Christian background, she didn’t have sex with her ex-husband until they got married, and then 3 years into the marriage he lost interest in sex. Of course, she didn’t believe in divorce, so she stuck with this sexless marriage for another 7 years. Finally they got divorced and ever since then Samantha has been “a whore” (her words), and hiring a male escort “completes” it.

It’s at this point that I should note that Samantha is…well, let’s just say, a full-figured gal. Nevertheless, Ash has no problem performing, as they head to the bedroom and it’s on. Missionary, doggystyle, and the cowgirl, and it’s over.

Then we’re outside someplace, where, Brace, Bradley, Vin and Nick are sitting around talking. First about Nick’s newest tattoos, and then Vin brings up his upcoming date with a new client. He says she’s a little person (as in a midget). This makes him a little nervous because he isn’t sure what to expect, or what he should do, so he asks the others if any of them have ever been with a little person. It turns out that Bradley has, and not even professionally, but personally, as he goes on to tell us, the audience, that he likes all kinds of women, it doesn’t matter to him. Good ol’ Brace is dying to know what little women’s pies are like. And by “pies” he means “vaginas.” Are they tiny? This is something Vin is worried about as well, but Brace takes it further has he let’s us know that with his very long penis he has often “bottomed out” inside of women, and then they start complaining about how it hurts. So, naturally, a little woman’s tiny pie probably wouldn’t fit him.

Talk about First World Problems…

Nick has a date with “Becky”, a cocktail waitress. They’re at an empty gym with a boxing ring, both initially dressed in Karate gees. Nick, who reveals that he’s actually a World Jiu-Jitsu Champion, takes her into the ring and shows her some moves. After a couple of minutes the gees and shorts are off, and they proceed to have very athletic sex, in several positions. She rides his lap while he sits in ring corner, then standing with him holding her up (impressive), then one where she’s holding onto the ropes as he holds her body up and bangs her from behind, then a sort of doggystyle/full-nelson, and finally ending with cowgirl in the middle of the ring. Oh, and she slaps him, hard.

Then we see all the guys at a bar one night, where Brace introduces them to old-time gigolo/pimp Scotty Bowers, and he talks about the experiences he wrote about in his book Full Service: My Adventures in Hollywood and the Secret Sex Lives of the Stars. Among his claims is that he supplied women to Katherine Hepburn (she was a “pussy eater”), and to Desi Arnaz (Lucille Ball punched Scotty in the face when she found out). Despite looking to be about a million years old, he implies that he’s still a working gigolo, and tells the guys that if  they “eat a lot of good pussy and don’t smoke too much” and they can keep doing what they’re doing forever. Inspirational.

And then finally, the main event. Vin’s dates with the little woman. “Nikkie” (a Motivational Speaker) is not only a little person, but appears to be somewhat disabled. Nevertheless, after some small talk in a restaurant, they head to a hotel where Vin performs much to her satisfaction. He starts off sucking on her breasts, then going down on her, which she REALLY enjoys. At one point she grabs a pillow and puts it over her own face to stifle her moans. Then he does her missionary, careful not to hurt her (“it’s tight”, Vin observes), and then sort of spoons her. The entire time she appears to be in an orgasmic state. Nikki is definitely a satisfied customer.

So that’s it. Once again, you must suspend disbelief and pretend that all of the sexual encounters in this episode are real.  The men continue to show a nice sense of camaraderie when they’re together, which is the real hook that keeps this series moving. I think it’s safe to bet that at this point in the series, the vast majority of viewers are longtime fans, and therefor you know what to expect when you tune in and, so far, it looks like Season 6 is off to a good start that won’t disappoint you.

Gigolos airs Thursday nights on Showtime

 

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