Here’s a film that I can’t believe that I haven’t already reviewed here. I thought for sure that I had, I think I must have planned to but just never got around to it and then forgot. It was only last Saturday when I was checking my blog to link to it and couldn’t find it that I realized my error. I was even checking to see if maybe this movie had been released under a different name, as some softcore films have been, and perhaps I’d reviewed it under that name, but nope. So here it is.

The copyright says it was made in 2011, but IMDB has it listed as released in 2013. Written by Timothy E. Sabo and directed by Jim Wynorski under his Sam Pepperman pseudonym, this film takes place at the Happy Endings spa, which is ostensibly a fancy massage parlor, but is basically just a brothel, as all the “massages” result in sex.

Cindy Lucas plays Dusty, the owner. Raven Alexis plays Kami, the receptionist, and Brandin Rackley, Melissa Jacobs, and Reena Sky play Shelly, Lucky, and Anita, who work there as masseuses. I’ll note that Kayla Paige briefly appears early on in one scene as another masseuse, but she has no dialog nor appears in any sex scenes, and is never seen again in the film. That’s weird. Maybe she was meant to have a larger role but had to leave the set for some reason before they could continue shooting? I don’t know.

Anyway, if you’re familiar with the Jim Wynorski films of this era, you know what to expect. Lost of fast sex scenes, with a heavy emphasis on lesbian sex, performed the songs of Roobie Breastnut.

I’m going to recap the film now and, yes, there will be spoilers…

The film opens with Shelly having sex with an unnamed client played by TJ Cummings outdoors. Then Dusty arrives and talks to Kami, asking if she’s noticed a black Ford that’s been parked down the road, which she thinks is suspicious. We see Lucky working with Mike Mathis, a regular customer played by Frankie Cullen. This includes sex. When Mike is leaving he drops his bag, but quickly picks it up.

Heather Vandeven plays Candy Connors, a new customer coming in for the first time. She has an appointment for a double massage with Anita and Shelly. This turns into a lesbian threeway, and afterward, Candy asks about applying to become a masseuse there herself, and they tell her to meet with Dusty.  But Dusty just found a Sherrif’s badge laying on the floor and realizes that it must belong to a customer…

Yes, Mike is actually a cop. We see him and his partner Tommy (Billy Chappell) meeting with their supervisor Captain Crane (Michael Swan). Crane is determined to shut Happy Endings down, ranting about it bringing down the moral fiber of the city, blah blah blah. Mike and Tommy have been assigned to watch the place and Crane wants them to hurry up and get it closed.

Back at the spa, Dusty joins Shelly in an outdoor jacuzzi and they have sex.

We see Mike and Tommy in the black Ford. At first Tommy is committed to doing their job and closing the place, but Mike confesses that he’s actually a customer who goes there all the time, and convinces Tommy to come in with him to see it for himself. Tommy agrees and they go in and see Kami. Mike says he wants to see Dusty, and Kami tells him she’s meeting with a new employee, so he goes out back to find her. Tommy wants a massage and asks if Kami will do it for him, which she agrees to and gets Shelly to cover the receptionist desk for her.

Kami and Tommy have sex. Dusty and Candy are playing tennis, and both get topless while doing so. When the game is over, Dusty tells Candy she’s hired, and that’s just when Mike joins them and asks to hire both women for a “massage” right then, and they have sex on the tennis court. As Mike and Tommy are leaving they make appointments with Shelly to come back the next day. In the car, Tommy says he thinks he’s in love with Kami and now doesn’t want to shut the place down either. The two men agree to stall Captain Crane and keep visiting the spa until they figure out what to do.

Back inside, Dusty meets with the ladies to show them the badge she found and warns them that they need to be extra careful about their clients so they don’t get in trouble. And then they all jump in the shower together.

Then there’s a weird sequence that feels out of place. Anita, Lucky, and Shelly are sitting on a couch accusing each other of stealing each other’s clients. They start fighting and calling each other bitches. Dusty appears out of thin are, with red lights behind her, speaking with an altered voice as if she’s some kind of ghost or demon, and orders the ladies to stop and insists that they do “penance.” Then she disappears and the three ladies have sex.

Mike and Tommy are meeting with Captain Crane again, and he yells at them and insists that it’s time to shut Happy Endings down. The men go back to the spa, agreeing that they need to warn Dusty. But first they want to get new massages. At the spa, Mike hires Anita and Tommy hires Kami again, and the four of them go to the same room where each lady is massaging each man. Tommy tells Kami he’s falling in love with her, and she says she feels the same, and then each couple has sex side by side. Right as they finish, Captain Crane shows up. And so does Dusty. Crane reveals who Mike and Tommy really are, and tells Dusty that she has 48 hours to vacate the spa.

Dusty meets with all the ladies again, trying to figure out what to do. It turns out that Candy is the mayor’s niece, and she sets up a dinner with him and Dusty, so she can try to convince him to let her keep the spa open.

TJ Cummings’ character shows up at the spa again that night and goes even though there’s police tape blocking the front door. Kami tells him they’re shut down, but Candy comes in and offers to see him anyway. And they have sex.

Dusty meets with the mayor, played by T.L. Lankford, and after shoving her breast in his face, he agrees to help her.  When Captain Crane shows up at the spa with Mike and Tommy, the Mayor is there with Dusty and tells the captain that he’s letting the spa stay open because they’ve agreed to give free massages to all cops and firefighters in the city, and then he fires Crane, and everybody cheers. THE END.

The thing about these types of softcore films is that they’re not meant to be taken seriously, nobody’s winning any Oscars, but you get to see a bunch of smoking hot women naked. So if that’s what you’re looking for, you’re gonna love this.

Chacebook rating: FIVE STARS

Jason Majercik is selling this UNRATED DVD for $19.99. Email him at quinn_nash@hotmail.com for his softcore inventory list