Tonight I am reviewing the latest softcore film from Retromedia. It’s been awhile (since April’s Vixens From Venus, to be exact), but they’ve gone back to science fiction for this feature, the second from new director Terrance Ryker (following last month’s Paranormal Sexperiments).

Blair Williams stars as Dyanna, an alien Princess, with Vanessa Cage co-starring as Dyanna’s official bodyguard, Tara. As the film opens, Dyanna and Tara have arrived at an intergalactic “Pleasure Station”  for Dyanna to enjoy herself for a little vacation. They are welcomed by Cassia, the woman who runs the place (played by Veronica Vain), who swiftly leads the ladies to a private “Venusian grotto”, where Tara stands guard and watches (with obvious jealousy in her eyes) as Dyanna enjoys herself in the water with a “Pleasure Android” (played by Darcie Dolce). Erika Jordan plays Aria, a renegade alien whom Cassia is secretly in cahoots with. They lured Dyanna to the pleasure station so that she could be kidnapped and held hostage, so that Aria could then use her own space fleet to…take over the galaxy or something.

These ladies are the only aliens we actually see, and it’s unclear if they’re all from the same species, but it turns out that whatever part of space they’re from, they only have one gender, females. None of them have ever seen a male before. I mention this because it becomes a significant plot-point later, as the aliens encounter men for the first time and want to experience what sex with men is like.

Dyanna and Tara manage to escape in their ship during the space battle between Aria’s fleet and the pleasure station’s security, but their ship is damaged when they speed through an asteroid belt, and they are forced to crash-land on Earth. Aria demands that Cassia track them and bring Dyanna back to her, while Aria remains at the pleasure station to wait for her (passing the time by using the Pleasure Android’s services for herself). On Earth, Dyanna and Tara’s ship is detected by Jake (Michael Thomas), who runs a small monitoring station that searches for signs of extraterrestrial life (like SETI). Karlie Montana plays Jake’s live-in girlfriend Susan, who is sexually frustrated due to all the time Jake spends searching for aliens, instead of being with her. But when Jake and Susan return home, they find Dyanna and Tara there, having come across the house while seeking shelter. Jake is excited about the prospect of meeting real-life aliens, but unbeknownst to him, the aliens have also been tracked by the local branch of Men In Black, and Andrew Espinoza Long plays the MIB special agent (referred to only as Agent Daniels) who has been sent to find out what Jake knows. But just as Agent Daniels arrives at Jake and Susan’s house, so does Cassia…

Who will get to Dyanna and Tara first? Will Cassia arrive and take them back to Aria as prisoners, or will Agent Daniels capture all three of them and take them as prisoners of the U.S. government? Watch the film to find out!

Okay, as plots go, it’s not bad, if not exactly original. An Alien Princess Gets Stranded On Earth While Being Tracked By An Evil Alien Woman Who Wants To Abduct Her. That’s the one-line synopsis of this film. It also describes Dirty Blondes From Beyond. That film was written by Dean McKendrick, this one has no credited writer. Make of that what you will.

But we don’t watch these films for the stories, do we? No, we watch them for the all-important SEX SCENES, of which there are 7 in this film.

There are three lesbian scenes. Both Blair Williams and Erika Jordan have scenes with Darcie Dolce, which take place in the same grotto. Both are very hot scenes, as the ladies really go to town on each other. And there’s a scene between Vanessa Cage and Karlie Montana, this one taking place on a bed, and also very hot. Montana and Williams also each have sex scenes with Michael Thomas. Veronica Vain has a sex scene with Andrew Espinoza Long. And then Long has a group scene with Williams, Cage, Montana, and Vain. In this case, it’s that final scene that doesn’t work as well as it could.

I have to say this, I think when it comes to softcore sex scenes, it’s generally best to do one on one or three at most. Once you get more than three, it’s hard to focus on any specific participants in the scene for a significant amount of time, as the camera has to keep going from one person to the next. For example, in the final scene, which takes place in a home office, it starts off with Long and Vain on a couch, while Williams, Cage, and Montana or together on a desk. Then Cage and Vain are on the couch while Williams and Montana or on all-fours side by side on the desk, kissing each other as Long takes turns banging each one from behind. Williams lays down on the desk on her bang as Long bangs her, while Montana joins Cage and Vain on the couch. It’s almost too much action at once. I probably would have rather they cut that scene and instead gave us a second sex scene with Erika Jordan (one is hinted at, but we don’t actually see it take place).

Nevertheless, the first 6 scenes are hot enough to be worth watching, as all of the ladies are very beautiful. The only thing keeping this film from being a perfect five is, well, some of these ladies at times felt like they were reciting their lines via a teleprompter. Jordan and Montana were both great in that aspect (as were Thomas and Long), but the other ladies could use a little work on their acting. Altogether, the attractive cast and erotic sex scenes make this a film that I can confidently recommend.

Chacebook rating: 4 STARS

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