SOFTCORE FILMS

GIRL WITH THE SEX-RAY EYES

This is another spy-parody from 2007, written and directed by Fred Olen Ray. Nicole Sheridan is the titular star of the film, playing an exotic dancer named Taffy. Brad Bartram plays an C.I.A. agent named Richardson, who buys a pair of special X-Ray glasses from a Russian spy named Natasha (played by Gina Rodriguez as “Demi Delia”), and takes them back to his boss, who wants him to take them to their special lab so they can clone the glasses and use them for their spies. These glasses could be dangerous in the wrong hands, as the wearers would be able to see into Top Secret areas. While leaving the building, he bumps into Taffy, knocking over all the luggage she was carrying, as she was on her way to a Bachelor Party for a strip show. In all the confusion, Richardson and Taffy accidentally switch boxes, and Taffy gets the box that had the X-ray glasses in it, which her boyfriend, Eddie (Alexandre Boisvert aka Voodoo), discovers when she gets back home.

So now Agent Richardson must try to track down Taffy to get the glasses back for C.I.A., who has promised them to the President. Also on their trail is a woman named Mao Myx (Shannon Kelly), some kind of criminal mastermind, who had been planning on buying the glasses from Natasha, so she could then sell them to some Saudi Arabians, and sends her henchman, Vargas (Evan Stone), to interrogate Natasha, whom is being held in an underground cell, to find out whom she sold the glasses too. Meanwhile, Taffy and Eddie are using the glasses to cheat while playing cards in Las Vegas, and win thousands of dollars, completely unaware that their lives are in danger if Vargas gets to them before Agent Richardson does.

Will Taffy and Eddie survive?

Will Mao Myx get the glasses to sell to the Saudi Arabians or will Agent Richardson get the glasses back to be used for America?

Do you think anyone who watches this film cares about that?

Of course not! Y’all just wanna know how good the sex scenes were, right? So be it.

There are only six scenes in this film, which is relatively short, ending at around an hour and thirteen minutes, not including the end-credits. The two best ones are featuring Gina Rodriguez. I was a big fan of Demi Delia when she was active in the hardcore porn field. There’s a threesome scene she did for Brazzers with Carmella Bing back in 2006 that remains one of my favorites to this day. I also thoroughly enjoyed her short-lived web-based reality series, Mommy XXX, back in 2009. Her first scene in this film is with Brad Bartram on a bed, and then she has one more scene with Evan Stone in a cell. Both scenes are very hot, and worth the price of the DVD alone, in my opinion.

Covergirl Nicole Sheridan also has two scenes. One with Boisvert, and it’s a pretty hot scene (I’ve since discovered that they are married in real life, so that explains their chemistry), and there’s another scene where the two of them celebrate in their hotel room with one of the Vegas dealers, played by Christine Nguyen, after their big win. That scene could have been better. It was mostly Sheridan and Nguyen together on a bed, with Boisvert just sort of randomly playing with them. It kinda felt incomplete. I think they should have either filmed it as just Sheridan and Nguyen as a full-on girl/girl scene, or had Boisvert join in fully, for a b/g/g threesome. Otherwise, it felt like the director didn’t know whether he wanted it to be a lesbian scene or a threesome, so he tried to make it a little of both. Sheridan also has a solo strip-tease scene at the end.

And then Shannon Kelly has two scenes, one with Vargas on a bed, and then another scene that starts off as her getting a nude full-body massage from another woman, Daisy Marie, and then becomes one of the hottest lesbian scenes I’ve seen in a softcore film (& I’ve seen a lot).

So overall it’s not bad. My biggest complaint, in addition to the short length, is that Sheridan speaks in this fake stereotypical “blonde airhead” voice throughout the film, which I guess is supposed to be funny, but I just found it annoying.

But for the Delia scenes and the Kelly/Marie lesbian scene, I’ll give it 4 out of 5 stars.

I just caught this film a couple of weeks ago on Showtime one late night. I immediately looked online to buy the DVD, but Amazon and other sites all had it out of print. I eventually found a cheap copy for sale on the auction website iOffer.com, and bought that. I just Amazon again and now it looks like the DVD is due for re-issue in April, and can be pre-ordered now.

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