SOFTCORE FILMS

Alabama Jones And The Busty Crusade

alabama jones and the busty crusade

This 2005 film is another softcore gem from Jim Wynorski (under one of his many aliases). Written by William Williamson (whom I initially thought was another alias, but he also has a role in the film, so it’s a different guy), this is basically just another excuse for big breasted women to have various scenes naked and simulating sex (especially lesbian sex) with each other.

This film stars Nikki Nova as Oklahoma Jones, Cheyenne Silver as California Jones, and Angela Little (aka Katie James) as the title character Alabama Jones. It’s not clear if these are their real names and (but they all have sex with each other, so I assume they’re not related) and, despite the film title, Alabama Jones doesn’t appear to be the lead character, all three are pretty equal.

As the film opens they’re on some quest on some remote island, searching through the woods for artifact knowns as the Idol of Punani (seriously). As they make their way through the brush, Alabama tells them the story of the last two explorers who tried to find the Idol, and we get a flashback scene. Explorers Lucy and Dana (Taimie Hannum and Shyla Stylez were making their way through those same woods when they were attacked and killed by three giant flying flaming skulls. Back in the present, the Oklahoma, California, and Alabama, make their way to what looks like a Buddhist temple in the middle of the woods. The go inside and see the Idol, and when Alabama takes it, the temple starts shaking, so they run outside, and then find themselves being attacked by those giant flying flaming skulls. The ladies manage to shoot them with their guns and destroy all three (you’d think giant flying flaming skulls would be bulletproof, but nevermind). They then delivery the Idol the “the Curator”, the woman who hired them (played by Deanna Merryman), who then gives them another assignment. They need to go to some island to find the Golden Mango, some mystical object that can control the sexual urges of all women. The Curator tells them that they’ll need to seek out a man named Jungle Bill to help lead them through the forests.

The rest of this film is the three ladies on their journey, first attempting to find Jungle Bill, and then the rest of the way towards the finding the Golden Mango. Occasionally the women split-up, and then regroup. And along the way they meet other various characters, including an Island woman named Luna (played by Aria Giovanni), an unnamed Jungle Man (played by Scott Styles), a pilot named Amelia Airhead (Kelle Marie) who has been missing for 70 years, but is still young an sexy because she says she found the fountain of youth (a fact that the ladies seem surprisingly unconcerned with), and various random tribesman and intelligent apes, until finally meeting the Queen of The Jungle (Sunny Leone).

Oh yeah, and Jungle Bill fights off a giant crab.

So that’s the set-up, which allows for various sex scenes, which are typical Wynorski fair. The characters have sex (or sometimes just strip and dance around) usually while fast techno-music plays, for about 4-6 minutes, and the women usually look directly at the camera at the end.

First, in the flashback scene, Hannum and Stylez take a break during their search to have sex on the beach. Then, after retrieving the Idol and destroying the skulls, Nikki, Cheyenne, and Angela have their own little “R & R” (as they call it) by that same beach. But it’s not really sex, they just strip and play in the water. Then later Nikki and Cheyenne have a really hot threesome with Aria in what is sadly her only appearance in this film. Then there’s another scene where Nikki and Cheyenne get topless and take turns rubbing lotion on each other.

There’s a scene with Deanna, as the curator remembers a time she was in those woods and has sex with the Jungle Man. Later Cheyenne also has a scene where she has sex with him. There’s another lesbian threeway, this time with Nikki, Angela, and Kelle. Then there’s a scene where Nikki, Angela, and Cheyenne all get naked and dance around a campfire on the beach at night. And Sunny Leone’s appearance at the end is brief, but she does get topless and dance around.

It’s not one of Wynorski’s best, but also not his worst. I mean, it’s got beautiful women getting naked a lot. Some that’s something, it is what it is. Chacebook rating: 3 STARS

Get the UNRATED dvd on iOffer, HERE, and HERE

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