This is a 2005 film from Torchlight Pictures. If you’re familiar with this studio, you know what to expect. A short film with a very low budget and a minimal storyline that’s just meant to get to the sex scenes as quickly as possible. And that’s exactly what we get here.

Written and directed by Francis Locke, the film stars Roxy Jezel as…I don’t know. Her character is never named in the film, nor listed in the credits. The film opens in what looks like a cheap community college classroom. The writing on the chalkboard says:

The Law & Divorce
Phil BBQ, ESQ.
How to: Stick it to your EX!!!
Get more $

Christian Dion is, I guess, Phil BBQ. The class is empty and he’s sitting at the front desk reading a book when Roxy walks in and sits down at one of the student desks in the front row. He tells her that the class doesn’t start for another hour. She says she can’t wait, she needs instant results, but he tells her that divorces can be slow. She says she suspects her ex, another woman, was having an affair. Phil says if they’re already divorced it’s too late, but says that he’s available, in an obvious come-on. And the scene cuts to the two of them in a bedroom somewhere having sex.

When it’s over, we’re back in the classroom. It turns out that was just some kind of fantasy. We’re back in the classroom, where Roxy tells Phil that her ex had a lover who was a man, and who happened to look a lot like him. But Phil asks what if her ex’s lover was another woman. She says “maybe…” and the scene cuts to Molinee Green (who is credited as Mollie Green, and actually given top-billing in the opening credits) and Belinda Gavin (credited as Kylie Wyote, a name she used in many roles) having lesbian sex in a bedroom somewhere.

That was another fantasy sequence. Back in the classroom, Roxy and Phil are still debating if her ex cheated with another woman or a man. The scene cuts to two bedrooms. In one, Phil and Molinee are having sex, and in the other Roxy and Belinda are having sex. The film cuts back and forth between the two sex scenes.

And, of course, that was another big fantasy sequence. Back in the classroom Roxy now tells Phil that she wants him, right there on the desk. So they have sex, right there on the desk. THE END.

Yeah, WTF?

Even for a Torchlight Pictures film, this story didn’t make any sense. And it’s not helped by the fact that Christian and Roxy are utterly horrible as actors. I mean, they’re fine in the sex scenes, but in the classroom scenes where they’re delivering dialog they are terrible, it’s like they’re (badly) reading off of cue cards.

So unless you’re really big fans of the women in this film, and want to just skip to the sex scenes, which are decent, I don’t have much to recommend this film. Chacebook rating: TWO STARS

Jason Majercik is selling this UNRATED DVD for $29.99. Email him at quinn_nash@hotmail.com for his softcore inventory list