Released in 1972, this film is also known as The Sexcapades of Don Diego, and it was directed by Col Robert Freeman who is also credited with the “original story”, which was scripted by David F. Friedman, Mona Lott and Joy Boxe (I have to assume those last two names are fake). I don’t know how this film got made, as the character was not in the public domain at this point and this is clearly not authorized by the Zorro corporation, they don’t even give a token credit to Zorro creator Johnston McCulley. But here we go.

In broad strokes, this film retells the classic Zorro story. Set in Spanish-ruled Los Angeles in the 1820’s, a ruthless “Alcalde” (basically a mayor or governor) runs the city with an iron fist, treating both the peasants and the noble landowners (the “Dons”) harshly, particularly by overly taxing them. Seeking help, one of the Dons sends for his son Diego, who is studying in Spain, to come home to help them. After learning about the oppression going on, Deigo vows to help, and secretly adopts the costumed persona of ZORRO, as he launches a campaign of justice against the Alcalde, and becomes a hero to the townspeople.

The main difference that sets this film apart from all the other portals of this story, is that it includes multiple scenes of female nudity.

Jude Farese is Louis Bonasario, the corrupt Alcalde. John Alderman is Esteban, the Commandant of Bonasario’s army, and Bob Cresse is Sgt. Latio, the somewhat comic second-in-command. The film opens on “tax day,” where the people line up to pay their taxes to Bonasario, and it’s clear that his excessive demands leave most of the peasants in poverty. One such peasant refuses to pay and attempts to attack Bonasario with a knife, but he’s immediately shot dead by Sgt. Latio. Bonasario then orders that the man’s two daughters be arrested and forced to “work” to pay off their father’s debt. Sgt. Latio takes them both young women to a barn where Esteban rapes one of them while Latio forces the other to give him a blowjob. So it’s established how evil these three men are.

Bruce Gibson plays Don Alejandro Vega, who was previously the Alcade, and was a fair and just one until he was surprisingly replaced by the Governor of Spain. He and the other Dons see how corrupt Bonasario is, but don’t know how to oppose him, as Bonasario has his soldiers and none of the peasants know how to fight. Alejandro decides to write to his son Diego, who is attending a military academy in Spain, where he’s said to be the best swordsman and horseman in the school, and ask him to come home to Los Angeles.

Douglas Frey is Diego. We see him in Spain where it’s clear that he is indeed the best student, and also a bit of a Playboy. When he gets the letter from his father and announces that he has to leave, his friends throw a going away party at a club which turns into an orgy with a bunch of women. He also gets into a swordfight with a jealous rival and easily wins.

Upon returning home, Diego meets his father, along with his father’s best friend Don Manuel (Mike Perratta), and the local monk, Frey Felipe (Sebastian Gregory) who apprise him of the situation. Their hope is that Diego can use his training to train some of the peasants as soldiers to fight Bonasario’s soldiers, but Diego says that would take too long, and that he’ll come up with his own plan, which confuses his father and the other men.

The next day we see that Diego has adopted a flamboyantly effeminate persona, dressed in brightly colored outfights, speaking in a soft high voice. So much so that everyone who meets him in this story assumes that he’s gay.

He goes to meet Bonasario and Esteban, the latter of whom immediately takes a disliking to him (calling him a “faggot”), but Bonasario thinks he is harmless. That night Deigo appears in the Zorro costume, riding a horse, sneaks into Bonasario’s hacienda, and rescues the two young women who were still being held captive in the barn (earlier we saw them tied up and naked while soldiers taunted them with a snake). While hiding from Latio’s soldiers in a confessional in the church, Zorro meets Maria (Robyn Whitting), who quickly becomes intrigued by him, and helps hide him from Latio, allowing him to get away.

It turns out that Maria is Bonasario’s niece, and he hatches a plan to marry her off to Diego so that she can gain access to the vast Vega fortune. This angers Esteban who wants to marry Maria himself. Bonasario invites Diego to dinner, where he formerly meets Maria, as well as Bonasario’s wife Helena (Penny Boran). Maria is mostly unimpressed by Diego, who maintains his charade, and the night when Helena informs her of Bonasario’s desire for her to wed him, she complains about marrying that “she-male,” and that this would mean that Maria will never know sexual passion. Helena then takes it upon herself to personally teach her niece about sexual passion, if you know what I mean.

Despite this sapphic session with her niece, Helana later goes on a private horse ride with Diego, and then comes on to him, saying she suspects that he’s not what he appears to be. Diego drops the charade and the two of them make love.

At night, Zorro breaks into the hacienda again and steals the tax money from Bonasario. Esteban tries to catch him, and the two have an extended sword fight, which Zorro wins, and then challenges him to another duel the next day. Zorro gives the money to Frey Felipe and tells him to give it back to the peasants. He then sneaks into Maria’s room and seduces her, keeping his mask on.

In the end, Diego has a final swordfight with Esteban and drives him and Bonasario out of Los Angeles so that his father once again becomes the Alcade (for some reason Sgt. Latio is allowed to stay and is put in charge of the police), while Diego and Maria plan to get married.

As a lifelong fan of Zorro, this film is kinda fun to watch, for what it is, but I wouldn’t call it a great portrayal. Even with the sex scenes, it could have been much better. At about an hour and 43 minutes, the movie drags in some areas. We don’t see the first swordfight until 29 minutes into the film, and Diego’s first appearance as Zorro isn’t until 43 minutes into the film. Speaking of which, none of the swordfights are particularly impressive, clearly none of the actors have any experience with that. Outside of the costumes, I don’t think this film had much of a budget. But the actors, especially Frey, Alderman, and Whitting, all do the best they can with the material that they’re given here, and I appreciate the effort. But specifically for a softcore movie about Zorro, I’d say Zorrita: Passion’s Avenger did it better.

Chacebook rating: THREE STARS

Jason Majercik is selling this UNRATED DVD for $19.99. Email him at quinn_nash@hotmail.com for his softcore inventory list