SOFTCORE FILMS

College Coeds vs. Zombie Housewives

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Here we go, Retromedia presents the latest small screen gem from writer/director Dean McKendrick, whom I think is the spiritual heir to Jim Wynorski and Fred Olen Ray. Now if the word “zombies” in the title makes you shake your head because, let’s face it, we watch these films for the beautiful women in various stages of undress, and zombies aren’t exactly known for being “sexy,” don’t worry. They mean zombie as in, “a zombie-like trance” not “resurrected flesh-eating corpse.” And McKendrick has hired an A-list trio to headline this film, including my two favorite softcore actresses, Erika Jordan and Christine Nguyen, and my favorite former political candidate Mary Carey. Jordan, along with Adriana Chechick and Michelle Maylene play the “college coeds” in this film, while Carey, Nguyen, and Karlie Montana play the “zombie housewives.” The film opens with a three-on-three fight between the six women already in progress, before switching to the opening credits (which are super-imposed over slow-motion close-ups of Carey’s voluptuous breasts – McKendrick knows what his audience wants to see) and then flashes back three days, to show us the events that lead up to the battle.

Frankie Dell stars as Gary, he is scientist married to a beautiful woman named Tracy (Montana), but he is sexually frustrated due to Tracy’s apparent lack of sex drive. She’s more interested in going out and shopping and drinking all day while Gary is working. Unbeknownst to poor Gary, Tracy’s lack of sex drive only applies, she’s secretly banging his best friend Hank (Andrew Espinoza Long) behind his back. Nguyen plays Hank’s wife Carrie, who is also Tracy’s best friend and shopping partner, who is likewise unaware of Tracy and Hanks’ shenanigans. Carey plays Gary’s coworker and fellow scientist Marilyn. Together they’ve been working on a new potion, which is designed to increase women’s sex drive. Gary, naturally has developed this to fix his problems at home. The potion has been successful in animal subjects, but Gary is eager to rush testing it on humans, so Marilyn volunteers to take it and it appears to work on her. Later Gary tries it out on both Tracy and Carrie, but it doesn’t work as planned.

Meanwhile, Gary and Hank have noticed three female cheerleaders practicing next door to Gary’s house, and go over to introduce themselves. The women are Judy (Jordan), Laurel (Maylene) and Kara (Chechik), who have rented the house while they work on training for the cheer-leading team at the local university that the ladies attend. Tracy and Carrie see their husbands flirting with the ladies and get jealous. This becomes important later.

So the remaining plot is that Gary’s potion works, but it has a delayed reaction in each woman who takes it. The sexual arousal doesn’t kick in for a couple of hours. It also has a delayed side-effect, in which the women enter the aforementioned zombie-like trance, where they become violent and highly resistant to pain. When Marilyn finds out about the side-effect, she rushes to Gary’s house to warn him and get the newly devised anti-dote to him in time, only to become overcome by the side-effects, along with Tracy and Carrie and all three women go on a rampage. This is what brings us back to the battle at the beginning of the film, as Judy leads her fellow cheerleaders in defense against the housewives…

I’m going to do a split-rating on this film. First, the story. Even for one of these softcore b-films, I must admit that it’s pretty lame. The way the potion affects the women is inconsistent, and just doesn’t make much sense. It’s just an excuse for sex and fight scenes. I think I’ll generously give it THREE STARS

But let’s face, y’all ain’t watching these films for the stories. You watch it for the sex scenes, and this has got some good ones. Mary Carey is in two, the opening scene with Dell, and then she has a scene with Nguyen. Both are spectacular scenes. Mary mimics titty-banging Dell during their scene, and later she and Nguyen get some very realistic scissor action. Christine Nguyen also has a sex scene with Montana that is pretty hot. And Karlie Montana and Andrew Espinoza Long had a romantic scene together. A third lesbian scene takes place between Adriana Chechik and Michelle Maylene, and those two ladies and Erika Jordan have a four-way scene with Long. That was very well-shot. There’s a risk in group scenes that it just looks crowded with too many people at once, but this was surprisingly romantic. And Erika Jordan and Frankie Dell also have a scene together, which may be the best one in the film, just for the sheer realism of it (seriously, I’d almost think they’re really doing it).

Speaking of realism, there is the big fight scene which, much like in Bikini Avengers, Erika Jordan choreographs herself and proves to be an effective stunt-coordinator. When you see her kicking Karlie Montana directly in the face, it looks very real. That took some skill.

My only complaint would be that Erika and Christina didn’t have a scene together. I loved their scenes together in Dirty Blondes from Beyond and Baby Dolls Behind Bars, so anytime they appear in the same movie (like in Sexy Warriors) I keep hoping for a repeat performance (hopefully Dean McKendrick will read this and get the message…). Still, for the sex scenes this gets a Chacebook rating of FIVE STARS

AVAILABLE ON AMAZON

4 replies »

  1. Oh nice! Yea I recently ordered this film from Amazon. I really enjoyed it! Mainly because of the beautiful girls… I really hope Retromedia casts Andy Espinoza Long again as the lead character, he’s pretty funny. I have been a fan since he was the bad guy on 7 Lives Xposed!

    Liked by 2 people

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