It’s Christmas, and I’m celebrating by rewatching and now reviewing JACK FROST.

No, not the 1979 TV Christmas special, nor the 1998 family-friendly Christmas movie starring Michael Keaton, this is a horror-comedy B-movie released direct-to-video in 1997 which is probably most notable for featuring a young Shannon Elizabeth, in her 6th professional acting role, 2 years before she would become a pop culture icon thanks to her role in the first American Pie film.

Having rewatched this for the first time in a couple of decades, I have to say that it holds up surprisingly well…depending on how you look at it.

Like I said, it’s a B-movie, with a capital B. It’s very (& I mean very) low-budget, and fully embraces its camp sensibilities. Don’t go into this expecting anything highbrow, it’s not pretending to be a Stephen King thriller or something from the SAW franchise, nor is it trying to be “smart” like a Scream movie. This is in a tone more comparable to The Toxic Avenger films or something like Killer Klowns From Outer Space. Thus, I think you’ll be entertained if you go into this with an appropriate level of Willing Suspension of Disbelief.

Basically, don’t think too hard, and just go with it.

The premise is creative enough for a horror film, especially of its era. A brutal serial killer gets killed and then resurrected in the form of a shapeshifting snowman, and proceeds to embark on a new killing spree terrorizing the citizens of a small town as he seeks revenge on the local sheriff, who was the man who arrested him and got him sent to Death Row.

Is that any more absurd than a serial killer possessing the body of a toy doll? And like Chucky (and Freddy, and the Leprechaun, and Angela, and many others) the killer tends to recite witty one-liners as he dispatches his victims.

Written and Directed by Michael Cooney, from a story developed with Jeremy Paige, the film takes place in a town called Snowmanton, which is billed as “the Snowman capital of the Midwest.”  At one point we see the town celebrating its annual “Snowman Festival” where citizens compete to see who can build the best snowman. That must be one heck of a tourist attraction.

Scott MacDonald plays Jack Frost (yes, that’s apparently his actual birth name), who we learn killed 38 people across 11 midwestern states over the course of 5 years, until he was finally caught, almost by accident, by the Snowmanton sheriff, Sam Tiler (Christopher Allport – R.I.P.). When Jack was convicted, he swore to Sam that he would get revenge on him and his family somehow. He even sent him threatening letters from jail. This caused Sam to have occasional nightmares about Jack and has been anxious for him to finally be executed.

The film opens on the night of Jack’s date with the electric chair, he’s being transported from the prison to wherever the execution is due to take place late at night. Even while still a human, Jack is quite dangerous and resourceful. Even though he’s handcuffed in the back of the police van, with a police officer watching him, he somehow manages to get of his chains and kill the officer by stomping on his throat, all the while the two divers upfront are oblivious. But because it’s dark and snowing heavily, the vehicle crashes into a truck that’s carrying some top-secret acidic fluid. Jack survives the crash but then gets splashed with the acid, which burns away his body and he melts into the snow, merging with it. and thus he’s able to rebuild his body into that of a snowman and makes his way to Snowmanton, where he begins his killing spree.

Jack first appears as a blank snowman in front of Sam’s house, then Sam’s young son Ryan (Zack Eginton) assembles a face for him, with rocks for eyes, small branches for eyebrows, and a big carrot for a nose. However, as the movie progresses, Jack seems to gain more control of his abilities, eventually giving himself a mouth with icicles for teeth. And in one scene he drives a car, so presumably he creates legs and feet for himself as well, although most of the time he travels by melting himself into water in which he can slide (sort of like how the T2 in Terminator 2 becomes liquid medal) and then reforming himself as the snowman.

Jack’s first kill is off-screen when Sam and his deputies find an old man whose neck is broken and face is frozen in ice. Other killings include decapitation with a sled, and an axe shoved in a man’s throat, a woman strangled with the wires of Christmas lights and then hung on a Christmas tree, shooting a sharp icicle from his hand into a person’s face, and even biting off someone’s head with his icicle teeth.

But I’d be remiss if I didn’t single out the most infamous kill of the movie. Shannon Elizabeth’s character, an 18-year-old girl named  Jill takes a bath. Jack becomes water and slips into the tub and then re-forms his snowman body around her, trapping her halfway inside him as they are face to face, then starts slamming her against the wall. It should be noted when he does this, his carrot nose is missing, and it’s heavily implied he’s put it where his penis should be and is raping her as she screams.

This scene is as disturbing as it is hilarious.

Finally, Jill collapses dead on the floor, apparently from brain injuries, and Jack quips, “looks like Christmas came a little early this year. Well, I hope it was good for you, honey,” and then is seen putting the carrot back where his nose should be while smoking a pipe.

Rob LaBelle and Stephen Mendel play FBI Agents Stone and Manners, who come to Snowmanton to try to eliminate Jack. Stone is part of the experiment that created the acidic fluid, it was designed to merge human bodies with inorganic matter to ensure humanity survives in case of armageddon…or something. It’s technobabble, but the point is that Stone feels personally responsible for creating this monster and wants to help stop him. But that is not easy.

Several attempts are made to stop Jack by using heat, including Sam and some of the townspeople using hair blowdryers against him to melt him into water, but this only temporarily stops him, as even when reduced to a puddle he’s able to re-assemble his snowman body. Finally, with the help of Ryan, Sam is able to come up with a creative(?) solution that stops Jack for good…although as with all good slasher films, there is a hint at the end of the monster’s possible return.

And, yes, three years later they did make a sequel, but from what I recall even I couldn’t find anything redeemable about that one.

But this film, I love. I love all the cheesiness, I love the sincere acting by the cast (which includes Eileen Seeley as Sam’s wife Anne) even when reciting the corniest dialog, and I even love the cheap special effects. It’s supposed to take place in the winter in the Midwest, but it’s clearly shot on the West Coast. The daytime scenes are always sunny with barely a cloud in the sky, yet everyone is dressed for winter and there’s snow on the ground.

In this day and age, with all of the classic horror franchises getting remakes, reboots, sequels and prequels, I wish some major studio would remake this film. Give it to a studio like Blumhouse with a decent budget for special effects, let them shoot on location somewhere with real snow and CGI the snowman, this could be dope. Maybe even in a nod to the original film, bring back Shannon Elizabeth, but have her starring as the sheriff now?

Well, I’d watch it. Chacebook rating: FIVE STARS

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