SOFTCORE FILMS

Secret Lives

Here’s a film from 2010, produced by MRG Entertainment/Mainline Releasing, a studio that could generally be counted on to produce some of the best looking softcore films of the 2000’s and 2010’s. This is directed by Austin Brooks, but there’s no writer credited, either in the film credits itself nor on the film’s IMDB page. That’s probably just as well because, storywise, it’s not very good. I mean, the plot is fine, it’s just that the execution fails on multiple levels. So much so that I’m just going to go ahead and spoil the hell out of it, because it doesn’t really matter.

This was an attempt at an “erotic thriller”, which was a big thing in softcore at the time, and when done right could be very effective. Good erotic thrillers are worth watching even without the explicit sex scenes. But, as I’ve already noted, this isn’t a good one. The film stars Brendan Connor as Mick, a Homicide Detective and softcore legend Beverly Lynne as Kenzie, an Assistant District Attorney. The film opens with them waking up in bed together, after hooking up for the first time the night before. They’re both a little concerned about if they can continue to see each other because their jobs may cross each other, like if she prosecutes a criminal that he arrested their relationship could be seen as damaging to the case. So they’re not sure how to move forward. This is an ongoing theme of the film, every time they get together they argue about it, even as they keep having sex (they have three sex scenes together).

Then Mick is called to the scene of a crime. A woman named Ashley (Angelica Saige) has been murdered. Ashley was a model, just starting out and new to the city, her body was discovered by her roommate Diana (Krissy Lynn). Mick finds that Ashley died of rat poison that had been slipped into her drink.

And so there’s the murder mystery that is supposed to drive this plot and the rest of this film, and we follow along as Mick investigates the murder and learns a bit more about Ashley. According to Diana, the house they live in is a “model house” that is owned by the modeling agency that they both work for. When new girls first move to the city the agency lets them live in the hour until they can get their own place. Diana claims that she left the house the night before because Ashley’s boyfriend Jason was coming over for a date and would be staying the night.

Chris Johnson plays Jason and would seem to be the main suspect, and the film tries to leave it ambiguous at first. We get a flashback of Ashley having sex with someone the night before, but in the scene, the man’s face is never shown, it mainly focuses on Ashley as her and the man have sex in the positions reverse-cowgirl and spooning. A small photo of Ashley and Jason in a frame was found brown on the floor of Ashley’s bedroom, indicating that she threw it at someone.

Later that night, Mick goes over to Kenzie’s and tells her about the case. Kenzie reveals that she used to be a model and actually lived in that model house. But she got out of it after a few years, once she earned enough money to go to law school. But Kenzie never knew Ashley but she did know Diana. Kenzie is very surprised to learn that Diana is not only still modeling but also still living in the model house, which is supposed to be temporary. She remarks that it’s pretty pathetic that at this point in her life Diana hasn’t made it as a big supermodel.

I have to say, maybe it’s just because I’ve seen so many of these types of films, but at that point, I immediately knew that Diana would turn out to be the killer. Just the fact that Kenzie made a point to say that about Diana made it obvious to me. And yes, in the end I turned out to be right. But I’ll get back to that.

The next day, for no particular reason, Kenzie goes over to the model house to talk to Diana, where Diana marvels as Kenzie’s success as an attorney, and they reminisce a little about their modeling days together. And Diana admits to Kenzie that Ashley was always fighting with Jason, that she was jealous of Diana and Jason’s friendship. When Kenzie later tells Mick about the conversation he gets mad at her feeling that her actions could tarnish his investigation. Somehow. I’m not sure why he’s so mad. Later Mick interviews Jason, who also brings up Ashley’s temper and how she liked to “push people’s buttons,” but he denies any part in her death.

Later Mick goes over to Diana’s again, and this time they end up having sex. Afterward, Mick notices a bottle of rat poison in the house, and rushes back to see Kenzie. He apologizes for being mad at her before and confesses to having sex with Diana, which Kenzie takes surprisingly well. He mentions the rat poison which, in his mind proves that Diana is the killer. And he says he called another college in the police department and told them to search the house so they’ll find the rat poison and arrest Diana (Mick didn’t want to do it himself because he knows that by having sex with Diana he’s now created a potential “conflict of interest” which could help her get off. And that’s it, case closed.

That’s right, we don’t see the murderer get arrested, which is generally a major part of a murder mystery. No arrest, no dramatic confession, or attempt to kill someone who just figured out her secret. It’s just done. And Mick and Kenzie have sex to close out the film, I guess indicating that they’ll live Happily Ever After.

A  mostly predictably film story with a dull climax. Most of the cast are good actors, with the notable exception of Angelica Saige who is, frankly, terrible. She speaks her lines as if she’s reading off of a cue card. And there are 7 sex scenes, the three between Brendon Conner and Beverly Lynne, two between Angelica Saige and Chris Johnson, and the two Krissy Lynn scenes, one with Connor and one with George McFadden, who plays a photographer that the models work with. The scenes are hot enough, for what they are, but none of them really stand out, making this film rather forgettable overall.

Chacebook rating: THREE STARS

Jason Majercik is selling this Unrated DVD for $29.99. Email him at quinn_nash@hotmail.com for his softcore inventory list

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