SOFTCORE FILMS

BUSTY COEDS vs. LUSTY CHEERLEADERS

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This movie came out back in 2011, I’d read about it at the time in a hilarious “review” by Dr. Gore, which you can check out HERE. But to date it has yet to be released on DVD, can’t even find bootleg DVD-R’s on iOffer (and I’ve been checking) so I have only finally got to see it last month, when I caught an airing of it on Cinemax. And, boy, did it live up to my expectations!

This is a Jim Wynorski film, directed under one of his regular pen-names, Sam Pepperman. The “writer” is credited as Steve Goldenberg, but I don’t know if that’s a real person or just Wynorski too. Either way, I put writing in quotes, for reasons which should become evident as I recap the “plot” of this film (which doesn’t require much “writing”). First, to be clear, this has all the classic Wynorski softcore tropes. The cast is made up of attractive women with large fake breasts. Most of the sex scenes (which heavily lean towards girl-girl) are filmed fast, with the actors aggressively humping each other, while loud techno-music plays, and the women always tend to turn and look directly at the camera throughout their scenes, especially near the end of each scene. It’s also a short film, just about an hour and 15 minutes.

Not that anyone cares, I’m sure (who watches these films for the plots?), but I’ll just put this here before I continue…

caution_spoilers

This film takes place at some large house, built like a resort, with a pool and a hot tub in the back. It opens with Angie Savage, just called Angie in this film, getting out of an outdoor hot tub in a bikini. She addresses the audience (which she’ll do throughout this film), introducing herself and welcomes us to Cheerleader Camp, saying that she’s there to take part in the Scholastic Hottie of The Year Contest. There were originally 10 contestants, but now there are only four left, including her. But she says it’s time for some R & R, and a man named Chet (played by Frankie Cullen) joins her in the hot tub. Angie says Chet is the handyman at the house, and they have “hot sex in the hot tub”.

When it’s over Angie introduces us to the Miss Meyers (Melessia Hayden aka Melissa Jacobs) whom she says is the chaperon for the women, and in charge of the contest. The other contestants are Marla Mounds (Jaime Hunter), whom Angie says is her most serious competition “Her boobs are smaller, but mine are nicer”, next is Tiffy Nightsprings (Kylee Nash), a rich girl whom Angie complains “is not even a real cheerleader” but got into the contest due to her rich daddy  bribing everyone, and then Candice Conners (Charlie Laine aka Tiffany Case), who has an IQ that’s “slightly above room temperature.” Miss Meyers then measures each of the girls breasts, as part of the contest, and discovers that Tiffy’s breasts are an inch larger than they were the day before. Tiffy can’t explain how that happened, and Meyers says that if she founds out that Tiffy’s used and “artificial enhancements” during this contest, she’ll be disqualified. Angie confides to us and to Marla that she secretly snuck some “Acme Silicone Enhancer” pills into Tiffy’s food the night before, in hopes of getting her disqualified. Then she and Marla retreet to an outdoor shower where they strip down and shower together, taking some time to spray chocolate syrup on each other and then lick it off each other’s bodies.

Next we see Candice go to see Bull, the other handyman at the resort (played by TJ Cummings). He’s doing some garden work by a tree when she approaches him. She’s unhappy with all of the jealousy and fighting going on between the girls, and doesn’t think she’ll have a chance to win anyway since her breasts aren’t as big as the others. Bull assures her that it’s not about the size of the breasts, it’s how nice they are, and that her’s are very nice. Then she wants to know why they call him Bull, so he shows her his huge cock (not seen on-camera) and the next thing you know they’re making out by the tree, but then quickly the scene shifts to the two of them having sex in an indoor shower.

Then we see Chet and Marla in swimsuits by the outdoor pool. The suits quickly come off, and they have sex in the pool, with lots of underwater shots.

They must leave pretty quickly after the sex, because next we see Tiffy and Miss Meyers in chairs next to the pool, with no one else around. Tiffy swears that she hasn’t done anything to make her breasts bigger, saying she’s happy with the size she already had, and accuses someone of spiking her food. She begs Miss Meyers not to kick her out of the contest, and this leads to some hot lesbian sex on a pool chair.

Next we see Miss Meyers testing each of the women on their pole-dancing skills, as part of the contest. First Tiffy, then Marla, then Candice, then Angie take turns doing a sexy pole-dance, until all four are topless and then dancing together, stripping until they’re all naked and Candice goes down on Angie while Tiffy goes down on Marla. Strangely, Miss Meyers never announces who won this particular test (I’d say the winner is the audience).

Later Miss Meyers gets a phone call from Martin (Billy Chappell aka Tony Marino), the Dean of the University (Dean Martin, get it?). He pressures her to make sure Tiffy wins, due to all of the money that her father gives the university. Meyers seems to go along with this, but Angie was listening in on the phone conversation, and hatches a plan of her own. She has her friend Janet (Heather Vandeven) apply to be Dean Martin’s new secretary. During the interview she seduces him and they have sex on his desk. All the while she’s secretly filming it with a small camera in her briefcase.

That night, back at the resort, Candice goes into Miss Meyers bedroom, along with Chet and Bull. They have a 4-way on the large bed. Chet has sex with Candice while Bull has sex with Miss Meyers.

The next morning we see Janet arrive to meet with Angie. She hands over the video and pictures of her sex with Dean Martin, which Angie will use to keep him from interfering in the context. Then the two ladies jump into the pool, with their clothes on, then start kissing and stripping each other’s clothes off. This is one of the rare “slow” sex scenes in this film, played more romantically than the others.

Then we see Tiffy in her room on the phone with her father (G. Gordon Baer), plotting to make sure she wins. Since Dean Martin was no longer going on along with their plan, her father got him fired. He also had someone falsely tell Miss Meyers that her house was on fire, so she left to go take care of it. He says he’s arranged for a new couple of judges, a man and a woman, who are going to drive out to the house to finish judging the contest, and they will declare Tiffy the winner. Tiffy is ecstatic, and win she gets off the phone she brings Chet into her room to have sex with him to celebrate.

Marla, whom Angie has previously convinced to join her side by promising her half of the prize money, overheard the conversation. So she goes out and changes some sign on the road, so that the judges will get lost on the way there. And then we see the judges on their way. It’s actually Glori-Anne Gilbert and Kris Slater in a scene taken from an early Wynorski film HOUSE ON HOOTER HILL and simply added to this movie. It’s pretty funny, but it works.

Next scene where in a Western-themed saloon. Chet is playing piano, while Marla stands next to him. Candice, Miss Meyers, and Bull are all sitting at the bar. Tiffy walks in, wearing a pink bikini, with a long brown coat, a cowboy hat, and gun tucked into her bikini bottoms. She’s looking for Angie, but she’s not there. She goes outside and we see Angie, also wearing a bikini, and with a gun-holster on.

That’s right, suddenly this film has become a Western, and now it’s time for a shoot-out. The women face each other, draw their weapons, and shoot! Tiffy is hit, she falls down, and Angie stands over her body. But all she shot her with were “love-darts”. As Angie says when she looks at the camera “What did you think, I was really gonna kill her? This isn’t the Western channel, it’s late night cable, where everyone gets a happy ending. Hope you get yours.” And then she gets down on top of Tiffy and they start kissing and having sex, in what is another slow romantic sex scene. THE END

Even for a Jim Wynorski film, the plot is weak. But, goddamn if this isn’t one of the hottest collections of sex scenes ever in a softcore film! Even with the re-used scene, there’s a lot in here, and it’s good stuff. Just on sex alone, it’s one of his best, and worthy of Chacebook rating of 5 STARS

As I said in the beginning, like many of Wynorski’s recent softcore fare, including Sexually BUGGED! and Hypnotika, this is not available on DVD, or even for download via iTunes. So you’ll have to check your cable listings for air-times. But if you can catch it, I recommend that you do so.

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