SOFTCORE FILMS

A HOUSEWIFE NAMED BRANDI

From Torchlight Pictures, this 2003 film is written by Anora Leachim and directed by Francis Locke. It stars Ander Page as Brandi, the titular housewife. Frankie Cullen plays her husband, Alex. Brandi has just bought her first computer, but doesn’t really have any idea what to do with is. When Frankie gets home from work that evening, she models a new sex bra and panties set that she just bought for him, and the two of them have hot passionate sex on their couch.

This gives Brandi the idea to build a website with a webcam, in which she will model and sell lingerie online. She gets her friend Rachel (played by Nichole Luv), to help her set everything up. Alex also gets involved, setting up the camera to help film the show for when the website official launches. After first they just get a bunch of trolls posting mean comments (it is the internet, after all) as Nichole models lingerie. So, to spice things up, Brandi decides to join her. The two ladies model the lingerie on camera, and that includes changing outfits on camera, as Alex films them. As the ladies pose together they start playfully kissing and then stripping the lingerie off of each other, before finally laying down on the couch and having sex.

This makes the hits to the site go through the roof, and they also gets tons of orders to buy the lingerie that the ladies were wearing. So they know they’re on to something big.

Mark Maes and April Hannah (credited as April Hanna) play Jim and Veronica, a wealthy and eccentric married couple who live in a large mansion. We see them watch the first show on the website, and they get the idea to build a competing website. They hire a “web jock” (that’s how they describe her) named Katie, played by Remy, to quickly build a better and more professional site for them and launch it, with Jim and Veronica having sex on the webcam.

When Brandi and Alex see Jim and Veronica’s site, which starts stealing their orders, they realize that the can’t compete with the better design, so they decide to try and “out perform” them. So Alex and Rachel have sex on the webcom (yes, somehow all this live sex leads to lingerie sales). So then Veronica and Jim get back on camera to have sex again. Then Brandi joins Alex and Rachel to make it a threesome. Then Veronica gets Katie to join her for lesbian sex on screen.

Most of the last half hour of this film (which is only about an hour and 19 minutes long anyway) is switching back and forth between the sex scenes on the two websites. When Veronica and Katie finish, they both bust out laughing, in which looks like it’s a blooper that happened for real while filming, and they just decided to leave it in the finished film. In the end, Jim contacts Brandi and offers to merge their two websites and work together, with she accepts. THE END.

This was not good. The “story”, such as it was, was lame even by early Torchlight standards. The “acting” is abysmal. The sex scenes were decent (at least the first two were really hot), but nowhere near hot enough make up for the film’s over deficiencies. Plus, Francis Locke has this annoying habit of randomly switching to slow motion during the sex scenes, and the way this film kept cutting back and forth made it hard to fully pay attention to one before it cut to another, and then back. You can skip this one.

Chacebook rating: TWO STARS

If you must, you can buy the film as a digital download HERE

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